Misfits Read online

  Mother turns me away from the servants. “Would you stop saying that?” she whispers. “You sound deranged! It’s your destiny to become a ruler!”

  “Ah, I see you found Devin.” Father walks up behind us. He’s dressed in his finest threads, a sash across his chest showcasing the many gold medals he’s earned as a commander in Enchantasia’s Royal Infantry. He kisses my cheek even though it’s sweaty. “Ready for your invitation?” he asks me, but before I can answer, Mother cuts in again.

  “Not exactly. She’s still going on about her love of animals! We’ve put up with this childish hobby long enough.”

  Father puts a hand on her shoulder and says, “Belinda, you can’t deny she has a gift.”

  “Gift? It’s a hobby.” Mother looks at the two of us as if we’re conspiring against her. “You must stop encouraging her!” she says to Father, then turns to me. “This is not your future, Devinaria. Royal Academy is! Just look at your cousin, Penelope Claudine. She went to Royal Academy, and now she’s married to a king with three castles!”

  “I don’t want three castles!” I protest. “I don’t even need the one castle we have. It’s too big.”

  “Oh, Devin, you’re so charming.” Mother takes my hand in her free one. She is smiling so earnestly that for a moment I feel bad about how hard I’m fighting her. “What is this really about? Are you nervous about going away to school? Because I am sure you’re going to love it there. Royal Academy was created just a few years after your father and I were married, so I never got to go, but it sounds like a dream! Can you imagine having a royal tailor on hand to make you any ball gown you want?”

  “But I don’t want…” Never mind. I pull my hand away and fold my arms across my chest, ready to restate my case. I hear horses galloping in the distance. The trumpet sound is growing near. I don’t have much time.

  “Fight me all you like,” Mother finally says. “Let your official royalty profile portrait be one of you looking like this! The truth is, you don’t have a choice concerning whether you attend or not.” She points to the fine print on the bottom of the scroll and makes sure Father sees it too. “All royals of your age must attend RA. It says so right here.”

  I bite my lip so hard I taste blood. The trumpets are growing louder. Suddenly, the servants open the back doors, and I see men wearing wigs and gold-trimmed white jackets. They’re carrying my official proclamation as they march into our garden. There’s also a painter with them who immediately begins to sketch my image.

  “Her royal portrait!” Mother cries.

  She wipes my face and tries to tame my hair, but my eyes are on Father. He’s my one hope for avoiding a future that involves Royal Academy. “Father?” I say questioningly. “Please.”

  I watch his expression closely. It wavers between sadness and an emotion I can’t identify. He places his hands on my shoulders as Mother tries to fluff my skirt. I watch her pull the ribbon out of her own hair and tie it around mine.

  “Devin, I tried. I really did,” Father says. “But she wouldn’t budge on the matter. Even after I explained your extraordinary gift. If anything, it only made her want you more.”

  She? “You mean Mother?” I question.

  Father shakes his head as more guards arrive. If they’re surprised by my appearance, they don’t say.

  “Olivina,” Father explains in a whisper. “Royal Academy’s headmistress.” His eyes search mine. “She says she can see the future, and you, my child, are destined for great things.”

  Royal Academy

  Student Supply List for Young Ladies

  If you don’t have these books at home—and I expect many of you are well-versed in these teachings already!—please purchase and bring to the first day of orientation. I look forward to many fruitful discussions this school year.

  —Headmistress Olivina

  Reading List

  • Royal Academy Rules by Fairy Godmother Olivina

  • Beyond the Glass Slipper: How to Nab a Prince without the Right Shoes by Cinderella

  • Cursed Childhood: How to Avoid Being a Target for Sleeping Curses and Poison Apples by Fairy Godmother Olivina, foreword by Princess Rose

  • Rescue Plans and Other Things a Princess Should Never Leave Her Castle Without by Fairy Godmother Olivina

  • Ten Ways to a Happier Imprisonment by Rapunzel

  • Mirror Image: Finding the Royal Within by Snow White

  Optional Reading

  • From Rags to Royals: 1,001 Beauty Tips from Princesses compiled by Marta Marigold, RA’s Official Beautification Expert

  Chapter 3

  Don’t Be Late for an Important Date!

  Ever since my invitation arrived last week, it has been chaos. Mother has been running around confirming I have everything I need for school, and I’ve been making checklists to ensure my animal friends are well taken care of while I’m gone. I’m busy writing out my final creature care instructions for Anastasia when a dove lands on my windowsill. It has a scroll held tightly in its beak. The familiar pink-tinted parchment tells me what I already know: it’s yet another decree from Royal Academy. So far I’ve gotten:

  1. An invitation to First Knight Out, which is apparently a ball held on our first night there.

  2. Information on how to book ball gown fittings. “Appointments fill up fast!” the scroll blared in glowing red letters. (I crumpled that one up and used it as kindling for my fire.)

  3. Details on new lady-in-waiting assignments. I’m appointed a “fully trained” one after arriving at RA and can’t bring Anastasia. (She’s been sniffling all week.)

  4. Biographies on my new roommates. I haven’t read those yet. (I cringe thinking of the one Mother must have written for me.)

  What could RA have left to tell me? Do they need to know my glass slipper size?

  “Greetings, Demetris,” I say to the dove. “What’s new?” I gently pry the scroll from the bird’s beak, then slide over a small bowl of water I have ready for such visits. Demetris sips politely as I open the scroll. This one is a reading list from Olivina herself.

  “Holy harpies! Why would I want to read Beyond the Glass Slipper: How to Find a Prince without the Right Shoes?”

  “Oh, miss, I loved that book!” Anastasia pipes up.

  Both Demetris and I look at her strangely.

  “I know I’m not royal, but every girl should know the way to a prince’s heart.”

  I stare at her blankly.

  “Surely, you’ve read it, miss.”

  I shake my head.

  “You mean, you’ve got your first ball tomorrow night, and you don’t know how to act?” Her jaw drops as she moves toward me, retying the bow on my skirt. “Thankfully, I remember the book well. The most important thing to do is keep your eyes lowered the whole time so he can see your lashes. And only dance with him twice. The third time, run away and say you have a curfew or your coach is about to turn back into a pumpkin. That will keep him guessing.”

  What am I going to do with this girl?

  “Anastasia, that sounds like terrible advice! Besides, I can think of plenty of reasons to run away from a boy that have nothing to do with dancing.” I pull a worn book out of my drawer. “You should read something really helpful like Red-y for Anything. Have you read it?”

  She shakes her head.

  “It’s the story of Red. You know, Little Red Riding Hood? It’s about how she went from almost being eaten to becoming the fiercest warrior in the Hollow Woods. She’s one of my idols. I’m sure this book is much more interesting than some boring book on balls and princes.” I drop it into Anastasia’s hands, and Demetris tweets his thanks before flying back to school. “Now let’s go over those instructions I gave you one more time.”

  “I’m to go into the garden at least twice a week, maybe more if it the weather is bad,” Anastasia repeats. “I s
hould replenish your supply of medicinal herbs and slings in the hollow tree near the large pine, and if the animals come pecking at your window while you’re gone, I’m to tell them you’re at school, then read to them from this scroll you’ve compiled of ailments and possible cures.” Anastasia’s eyes widen. “But, miss, what if they try talking to me? You know I don’t understand them.”

  “It’s okay,” I tell her again. “I’ve already spoken to them, and they’re just thankful you’re going to try to help them while I’m gone.” I glance at the packed wardrobe and trunk sitting near my door. “Which hopefully won’t be long.”

  “But, miss…” Anastasia begins to say.

  “Devin,” I remind her. “We’re the same age. You can call me Devin.”

  Anastasia lowers her eyes. “It doesn’t feel right, miss. You’re royalty.”

  When she makes comments like this, I want to hit her over the head with my shiny new training wand (which is not as fun as a mortar and pestle). “That’s just a title. We’re the same, you and me.” I squeeze her hand. “I know I’m asking a lot, between taking care of the animals and sneaking around my parents, but I promise you, if I can find a way to get you into RA with me, I’ll do it.”

  Her face crumples, and I’m afraid I’ve made her cry again. Instead, she curtsies. “That would be most wondrous, miss!”

  We’re back to miss again.

  “Devin!” Mother’s voice echoes through the palace. “They’re coming! You should be waiting at the door!” I hear trumpets and know it’s time.

  Anastasia fixes the hairdo of braids atop my head, which I wanted instead of a normal updo. (Hey, all Mother said was that my hair had to be up.) But Mother won the battle over what I’m wearing. She says she heard Olivina puts a lot of emphasis on first impressions, so she has me in a baby-blue corseted gown. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to breathe or wave. (Mother says it’s all about the carriage wave on the procession into school.) I’m changing out of this contraption as soon as I get to my new room. But before I head out on my journey, there is still one thing I have to do.

  “Can you stall my mother for just a moment more?” I beg Anastasia.

  Anastasia nods and hurries off, and I run to my window and look out. As I’d hoped, several of my animal friends have gathered in the garden. “Don’t worry,” I tell them, trying not to get choked up. (Anastasia’s crying has thrown me off my game.) “I’ll be home for holidays, and Anastasia is going to take good care of you till I find a way back myself.” Deirdre glides from the tree to my windowsill.

  “Miss you! Olivina! Won’t be back! Princess!”

  I’m still not fluent in squirrel so I only understand some of what she’s saying, but I can sense her panic. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to get distracted by all those princessy things at Royal Academy,” I assure Deirdre. “I’ll be back. You’ll see!”

  “Devinaria! They’re almost at the door!”

  “Goodbye!” I say as Deirdre keeps chittering. I give my bedroom one last look, then head downstairs. I stop short when I see what’s going on. The castle’s staff is lined up in our entranceway in front of the open door. Outside, villagers are gathered on our lawn, cheerfully clapping along to a band. Someone from Happily Ever After Scrolls is also here, reporting on the occasion. Drooping dragons! This is all for my send-off to school?

  I hear a neigh and run down the steps to the doorway. My eyes widen. There are eight—eight!—horses attached to a ginormous pumpkin coach. A real pumpkin! I always thought Princess Ella was embellishing that vegetable transportation story, but here is an exact replica. I watch as a footman hoists my luggage onto the back, then turns and opens a door for me.

  “Make way for the princess!”

  I whip around. Gretchen, my neighbor, is holding a banner with my name on it:

  Princess Devinaria of Enchantasia.

  Long may she reign!

  Reign? For Grimms’ sake. I open my mouth to say something to Gretchen, but Father and Mother have appeared and each taken one of my arms to lead me to the coach. People begin to cheer, Anastasia waves a tearful goodbye, and the trumpets grow louder. I dig in my heels.

  “Father?” I hesitate. I hate that I sound nervous.

  “You’re going to do fine,” he assures me. “Just be yourself.”

  “But better!” Mother adds. “Be the princess we know you are.”

  Father gives my hand a squeeze and whispers in my ear. “I made sure to add a few of your favorite things to your trunk after your mother finished packing. Have fun.” He winks as he hands me off to the footmen standing in front of the carriage. “You are special. Always remember that.”

  “And brush your hair a hundred times before bed each night,” Mother adds. “It will really add luster to your locks.” She touches the coach. “Now, don’t forget to smile when you arrive. Everyone will be watching you—the Enchantasia Insider says pumpkin coaches are reserved for Olivina’s most promising new students!”

  I’m one of Olivina’s most promising new students? The fairy godmother doesn’t even know me. If she did, I’m pretty sure she would not consider me princess material.

  Mother starts to cry, and Father hands her a handkerchief.

  “Good luck, darling,” Father says as the footmen help me inside. The cheering increases as we begin to move. “Write often! Send Pegasus Posts!”

  “Always listen to Olivina!” Mother adds. “She knows best! After all, she’s advised the most famous princesses in Enchantasia. And look how all their lives have turned out! Oh! And, Devin?” She runs after the coach. “Don’t forget to call for a…before you reach school!”

  “What?” I shout. I can’t hear what Mother is saying, but it must not matter if she only remembered to tell me now.

  The coach is already speeding me away from the only life I’ve ever known and barreling me toward a new one full of uncertainty.

  Chapter 4

  If the Pumpkin Fits

  I’ve never been this far from home before.

  We’ve been traveling for hours, but I haven’t been able to stop staring out the pumpkin coach’s window.

  Mother has never liked to travel. (“When your home is this grand, why go anywhere else?” she always says.) Most of the ladies in the area come to our home for tea or to discuss local politics, so there’s never a need to go anywhere but the village for dinners or to visit some of the shoppes.

  But sometimes when Mother was busy and just Father and I were warming ourselves by a roaring fire, he’d tell me about some of the experiences he’d had with creatures during his adventures with the Royal Infantry—like facing banshees on the moors, outsmarting giants in the Highland Hills, and lulling dragons to sleep on a craggy cliff overlooking Tigers Eye Cove. Oh, how I wanted to make friends with a dragon!

  “There’s a whole world out there to explore, Devin, for men who are brave enough to do it,” he’d say.

  “And women,” I’d add.

  “And women,” he’d add with a laugh. “Just don’t get yourself eaten by an ogre.”

  I’ve never met an ogre. Or a giant. Or even a real fairy. With a small flutter of hope, I wonder whether I’ll get to meet some new creatures at Royal Academy. All the famous royal stories have magical animals like dragons and griffins. Maybe Royal Academy won’t actually be all bad.

  My hands grasp the pumpkin door frame as we pass a small pond where two children are fishing. In the distance, the turrets of a castle loom. Suddenly, I hear shouting. A group of children are racing after the coach.

  “Are you Princess Ella?” a boy shouts.

  “Not even close!” I holler back, and one of the footmen looks at me.

  Oh. I guess that response isn’t very royal. I try one of those waves I always see the royals do when they pass through the village. The footman smiles appreciatively. Score!

  “This is
a pretty far drive,” I say, hoping he’ll forget what I said. “I didn’t realize Royal Academy was this far from home.”

  “We had to go around the Hollow Woods, princess.”

  “Wouldn’t it just be easier to fly on a magic carpet or something? Olivina’s a fairy godmother. Can’t she do all kinds of magic?”

  “Yes, but it’s tradition for new students to arrive by coach.” The footman looks uncomfortable as he adjusts his cap. “And Olivina doesn’t like RA magic used unless she’s present. Too much can go wrong.”

  “You could take Pegasi,” I suggest.

  He looks even more perplexed. “Yes, but royals only use those for long-distance travel in emergency situations. Olivina prefers that royals travel in style. Hence, the pumpkin coach and white horses. Much more dignified. Are you comfortable, miss?”

  “I’m fine,” I insist, “but should we stop for a moment to give the horses a break? Or water?” I glance at the horses’ backsides as they gallop along. “I’m sure they’re tired.”

  “Can’t, miss,” he says. “We’d miss your entrance.”

  Entrance?

  “And besides, we’re close. It’s just up ahead.” He points at a dark line of trees on a knoll.

  I don’t see a castle. Maybe it’s around the bend?

  “Here we go, princess!” the footman tells me as the driver whips the horses. (Does he really have to do that?) We’re headed for a giant redwood tree with no sign of stopping. “Hold on!”

  “We’re going to hit that—treeeeeee!” I scream as the horses race into the trunk. I close my eyes tight and brace for impact.

  Huh? I open my eyes again and…holy harpies!

  The trees shimmer and disappear like a mirage, hiding the real path to Royal Academy. It’s no longer nightfall either. The sun is shining brightly as if we’re on the other side of the world. Our coach slows down, rolling over a narrow bridge toward the largest castle I’ve ever seen. I stand up and lean out the window. The towering palace sits atop a rocky hill that reaches so high it looks as if it’s in the clouds.