Secrets of My Hollywood Life #2: On Location Read online

  HOLLYWOOD SECRET NUMBER SIX: Movies don't shoot in chronological order. If your script is set in London and New York, you'll unreasonably increase production costs if you jet back and forth a hundred times. Instead, productions shoot all the related scenes in one city before flying to the next. The same principle goes for productions that require numerous scenes spread out over the course of a movie to be shot at the same private home in Nantucket. Usually they'll shoot all the house scenes together even though they're out of sequence.

  And on the off chance a production calls for an Olympic-size pool that is booked for all of June and July except for today they'll probably shoot there on the first day of pro duction.

  "Kaitlin, we're going to need you in five," Hank yells in to the stands. He nervously runs a hand through his short, brown spiked hair. He confided to me that he's worked on all of Hutch's projects, even if they're all beyond "stressful." Hmm. Maybe that's why Hank is so pasty white and thin.

  Stressful. Now that I've signed on to work with Hutch, everyone I meet tells me how brilliant the blockbuster ge nius is...and how stressful it is to work for him. Why couldn't anyone have warned me before I signed on?

  "No problem!" I yell back cheerfully. I remove my robe, hand Nadine my tea, and begin walking down the bleacher steps. That's when I see Liz. She's wearing jeans and a Strokes concert tee underneath. Liz is weaving in and out of the crowd, sidestepping the craft services cart that's rolling towards her and ducking under a grip holding a large han dle with a light.

  "Look who's finally here," Nadine mumbles under her breath. My "talk" with Nadine didn't go so well. She didn't seem convinced that having Liz around would free her up and now I'm regretting offering Liz the job. It's too late now though.

  "Sorry," Liz pants. "I missed the bus that would take me here and had to wait for the next one."

  "She missed the bus," I hear Nadine mutter.

  "I don't know how people deal with public transporta tion!" Liz continues anxiously as she watches Nadine. "Any way when I got to security they said my name wasn't on the list. I tried calling Nadine, but she didn't answer her cell."

  I look at Nadine. She pulls her cell from her back pocket and checks the screen. "No service," she says, looking sur prised. "I'm sorry, Liz. I told them your name at the door."

  "I knew you weren't thrilled about me being here, but I couldn't believe you would ban me from the set!" Liz jokes.

  I laugh nervously. I told Liz not to say anything about what I told her.

  Nadine's face is bright red. "It's not that I don't want you here, it's just that I have a routine and I don't like it being messed with.""When school is out and I'm here full time, I promise I'll stay out of your way," Liz offers quickly holding her hands up in peace. "I'll do whatever you ask me, no questions asked. You're the boss."

  "Okay" Nadine looks relieved. "I'm sure I have a few things that I could use help with."

  Crisis averted.

  "Couldn't find anything better to do than tag K around this summer?" I hear a familiar voice say.

  GROAN. If only bliss could have lasted longer than five seconds....

  "Hi, Sky," Nadine yawns.

  Liz turns around smugly ready with a witty comeback I'm sure, but jumps backwards when she sees Sky. "What happened to your hair?" Liz asks in horror.

  Sky looks rattled. She tightens the candy apple red robe around her chest. "I dyed it blond," she says defensively, smoothing her slicked hair, which has been groomed to look as if she's swum in the pool, like mine. "It's for my character. Madison, hand me a mirror," she barks to her as sistant.

  Madison quickly produces one from the oversized black canvas bag hung over her shoulder. "Hi, Nadine, Kaitlin, how are y'all?" She's dressed too formally for a movie shoot. Everyone here is in beat-up jeans, old t-shirts, and sneakers, but Madison is in crisp white linen pants and a navy silk sailor-style top. I guess Sky didn't tell her what to expect.

  Madison turns to Liz and extends her hand, which I notice is trembling. "I'm Madison. And you are?"

  Liz smiles. "I'm Kaitlin's second assistant," she says coolly looking directly at Sky.

  "Oooh!" Madison squeals. "How nice. I'm new too! Are ya from around here? I'm from the great state of Louisiana. We don't have half as many Starbucks as y'all have here. Who needs to drink that much coffee?"

  "Second assistant?" Sky interrupts. She drops the black mirror and it shatters. Madison dives on the ground to re trieve it. "How come I don't have a second assistant?"

  "I guess they didn't think you needed one." Liz walks down a step so that she's eye to eye with Sky who runs a hand through her wet hair and tightens the sash around her robe, preparing for a screaming match. "I mean, it's not like you're the lead," Liz points out nonchalantly.

  "Girls, we're ready for you," the second A.D. calls.

  "What's her name again?" Sky whispers quickly to Madi son. Madison fumbles for a yellow spiral notebook tucked in the pocket of her dark denim jeans.

  "Tracy. Likes smoothies and spa pedicures," Madison whispers.

  "We'll be right down, Tracy!" Sky yells exuberantly, smil ing in Hutch's direction even though he's busy yelling at Daniella from the pool.

  I roll my eyes at Nadine and Liz, hand them my robe, and follow Sky down the stairs. As I leave, I hear Madison say, "Do you girls know how to make a schedule? Sky said I should look at Kaitlin's bible for ideas. Isn't writing in the Bible sacrilegious?" I turn and see Nadine put her face in her hands.

  Sky and I walk over to where Hutch is standing shoulder-high in the cloudy chlorine-heavy water. "Come on, come on!" he yells. "Time is money"

  Several of the extras I saw earlier are already gathered. We're all in matching red or blue tanksuits, to mark the rival swim teams, and have swim caps or goggles wrapped around our heads. The guys are dressed in baggy swim trunks. Drew pushes through the group and takes a spot next to me.

  "Looking good, Katie Bear." I notice him checking out my butt and I glare at him.

  "You know what this scene is about," Hutch says to our group after we've rehearsed it once. He turns to Sky, Drew, and me. "The three of you are competing in the 800 race for the school. It's an endurance race, and Regina will be the starter, followed by Piper," Hutch says, motioning to the slim freckled redhead standing next to me.

  "When Piper appears to be drowning, Carly and Dono van will dive in to save her, while Regina hangs back and watches from the other side of the pool. As the two of you pull her out, your teacher, Mrs. Murphy, will yell at you both for messing up the race. Got it?" We all nod. "Kaitlin, I'll be looking for a huge range of emotion on your face as I pull in for the close-up shot. You're confused, bewildered, unsure of what's happening." I nod, aware that all eyes are on me now. "Okay, we're going to try to do this whole scene seam lessly once through and then shoot the other angles. Every one be on your game."

  No first scene rah-rah pep talk before shooting?

  "Quiet on the set!" Hank announces through a mega phone. "Extras, wait to cheer until you receive the sign." Several of the lights set up for the shot pop on and I'm so blinded I can barely make out Nadine and Liz. They are still talking to Madison. I see Liz point to me and the three of them smile.

  Hank slides in front of Sky and me holding the famous black-and-white clapper. This one has an electronic time-code that will help Hutch locate specific frames during the post-production process. I hear Sky let out a long, deep breath. My heart is pounding so loud I barely hear Hank say, "Untitled Hutch Adams Project, scene sixteen, take one." He snaps the board shut, the sound echoing throughout the arena.

  "And, action!" Hutch yells.

  On cue, the crowd behind us cheers as our swim team rallies behind Sky and me, just like we practiced. Sky dives in the pool beautifully and begins racing across the lap lane against a lanky brunette from the blue team. When it's the girl playing Piper's turn to dive in, Hutch screams "cut!"

  "Laura, what kind of dive was that?" Geez. Hutch doesn't have to shout. We'
re all nervous. Laura pulls herself up from the pool and shakes her head. We do the shot several times, each time Hutch screaming (actually screaming!) about some technique one of us has failed to master. Drew flaps his legs like a fish when he swims, Laura can't dive prop erly, and my freestyle doesn't look convincing. Sky it seems, is the only one not reprimanded. We do the race shot again and again, for almost an hour, before Hutch is finally content.

  "Took you guys long enough, but you finally got it," Hutch concedes gruffly "Catch your breath while we set up the next shot. Kaitlin, Drew, Sky, and Paula." Hutch points to the actress playing Mrs. Murphy. "Stay close by. I don't want to have to look for you when I need you." I rub my sore wet arms and walk to the edge of bleachers.

  Nadine hurries down the steps and throws my robe around me. It feels good to get warm. Rodney hands me a cup of tea. Madison watches all of us intently and then jumps up to do the same for Sky.

  "Kates, the reason you're having trouble with your strokes is because you're not breathing right," I think Rodney mum bles. It's hard to tell when he's talking with his mouth full. He takes another spoonful of the vanilla ice cream he got from the craft services table and continues. "You should turn your head to breathe every four strokes, not two. I can't believe someone didn't correct you." I watch Rodney make the arm motion and pretend to turn his head to breathe. I know he's right, but it's hard not to laugh.

  "Is this your trainer, Kaitlin?" Our producer Daniella asks as she walks in on Rodney making a fish mouth. Daniella's small frame looks even tinier than usual in tight jeans and a green long-sleeved tee.

  "No, my bodyguard," I say and introduce them both.

  "Her bodyguard slash chauffeur, but I'm also training to be a stuntman," Rodney says proudly. I notice he's discreetly placed the cup of ice cream on the bleachers behind him.

  "Really?" Daniella seems genuinely interested. "Where did you study?" Rodney explains he trained at Action Ac tors Academy and Benny the Jet's Gym, both in LA., and Daniella listens intently while I watch another scene unfold in front of me. Hutch is talking to Hank and waving his arms wildly.

  "I think we can use you," I hear Daniella tell Rodney. What? "We definitely need some extra stuntmen for a few chase scenes."

  "Thank you," Rodney says gratefully. "You won't be disap pointed with my work."

  I hug Rodney tightly. "Way to go, Rod! I'm so happy for you. You deserve this."

  "Thanks, Kates." He squeezes me back.

  Daniella smiles. "I'll put you in touch with our stunt co ordinator. He'll get you on the schedule." The three of us hear something crash to the ground, and we jump.

  "NO, NO, I don't care how much it costs! I want it this way!" Hutch booms, knocking a plastic plate full of raspberry crepes off the food cart next to him. The set is quiet. When he realizes everyone's watching, Hutch walks over to a P.A. holding the megaphone and grabs it from him.

  "Everyone, we're going to take a one-hour break." Hutch's voice echoes in the swim center. "I'm not feeling at peace with this next shot. I need to think about the consequences of shooting it the way it's written before we continue. We'll call you back to the set when we're ready" Daniella purses her lips, but doesn't appear surprised as two P.A.s rush to give Hutch an orange yoga mat and a candle filled with in cense. Hutch brings the mat to the edge of the pool, sits cross-legged, and as if no one is around, closes his eyes and begins to hum. Hank throws his hands up and walks away in a huff. As he passes Daniella and me, I could swear I hear him mumble, "He's nuts, you know that?"

  "Nuts, but brilliant," she whispers back calmly.

  "Do you guys want to get in on this?" A PA. asks as he walks by. He's holding an upside-down baseball cap filled with tiny pieces of paper.

  "What is it?" I ask as I peer into the worn blue hat.

  "Hutch is offering $5,000 to the person who comes up with the title of the movie," the pimply guy says. "The win ner will be announced at the wrap party." On movie shoots, it's customary for crews to do several money pools. I've gam bled on baseball games, the World Cup finals, and even played "Pick the winning card from the deck and win a $1,000." Usually the stars of the movie up the pot by putting in more than the required bet. I remember Mac Murdock pledged $1,000 of his own money for the World Cup lottery we did during the Off-Key shoot.

  "That's how he's coming up with the title?" Daniella ques tions. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go talk to him." She hur ries across the deck only to be stopped by another PA. guarding Hutch's meditation zone.

  "Come on," Nadine says, appearing at my side again with Liz. Liz has the bag with my iPod, magazines, and script loaded in her arms. "Let's get you some dry clothes while Hutch thinks about the consequences of shooting the next scene as written." We giggle. As Nadine puts her arm around me and we begin walking away, Madison blatantly stares at me. When I catch her eye, she looks startled and breaks into a smile, revealing two crooked front teeth.

  "Madison, what are you waiting for?" Sky seethes, push ing past all of us. "Get me another towel. I think one of my extensions is falling out."

  "Maddy seems sweet," Liz says, watching them both. "I can't believe she's stuck with Sky for a boss."

  "Better her than you," Nadine semi-jokes as she watches Madison run ahead of us.

  I'm overcome by the smell of incense. Behind me, I can hear Hutch's humming get louder and louder.

  Forget Madison's abuse and Hutch's first meltdown. You know what's really scary about this movie set? We're on day one.

  MONDAY 6/18 NOTE TO SELF:

  Tues., Wed. call times: 6 AM @ the soundstage

  Tues. night--ALMA awards with Drew

  Thurs.--7 AM--sword play with Sky @ Paulo's studio

  10 AM--accent class Thurs. call time: 3 PM--location in Malibu

  DAY OFF??? Ck w/Nadine

  seven: Awkward Conversations

  "...And he made me step in it fourteen times! Dog poop! How many different ways can you shoot someone stepping in dog poop?" I cradle my cell phone under my chin as I peer out of the ivory plastic blinds of my trailer. It's parked on the backlot at Wagman Brothers Studios, where we're shooting on the soundstage today. I'm looking for Liz, who is on her way back from craft services with our lunch.

  "That's disgusting!" Austin groans, although his laughter says otherwise.

  Hearing his voice is like drinking peppermint tea from Elixir &Tonics (my favorite tea shop in LA.)--I can liter ally feel my stress level dropping. We've been shooting nine days now, and I'm talking about long days. Last night I left the set at one AM and was due back at seven thirty. "Thankfully it was fake," I giggle. "They made it out of brown paint, ce real, and rubber cement."

  "Are you serious?" Austin stops laughing. "That's pretty cool."

  "Yep. Just one of the fascinating movie factoids I can tell you, Meyers. I'm saving the rest for when you visit," I joke, even though the situation is serious. I've put off telling Austin about Drew till we could talk in person, but I've only seen him once in the past two weeks when he was in the middle of his team's lacrosse finals, which they lost. Not ex actly the best place for a tête-à-tête.

  "Sorry" Austin suddenly sounds beat. "Between all those practices Coach Connors scheduled to get ready for the fi nals and having to finish my Civil War term paper, I haven't had a minute to breathe. School may be out, but the team has had to do all these newspaper interviews about Clark making it to their first-ever lacrosse finals, and then I've had lacrosse camp with the kids every day and it's just been chaos.

  "You're a celebrity," I tease. "I saw the big picture of you in the Santa Rosita Ledger." I sent Liz out to get me a copy.

  "I look ridiculous," Austin mumbles. "I don't know why they ran such a big picture of a sweaty me and such a small shot of the team. The article was about the team!"

  "Welcome to my world. If you're cute, you sell news papers." We both laugh. "I wish I could have been at the game," I add wistfully.

  "Come on now, you had to work," Austin points out.

>   "I know." Sigh. Things are going so well between us. But I can't avoid the Drew conversation any longer. "There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about and I was trying to avoid doing it over the phone, but we've both been so busy and..."

  "Are you okay?" I can hear the concern in his voice and my heart melts. "Is it Sky? You haven't said much about what's going on at that movie set."

  I bite my lip. "I haven't wanted to burden you," I admit.

  "Burden me?" Austin laughs. "That's what boyfriends are for, or didn't anyone tell you that? I think about what you're doing all the time. It would be nice to know--hint, hint--what's going on."

  "Let's just say Hutch could give your Coach Connor a run for his money in the power trip department," I sigh. "But I can complain about that later. This is more important. It's about Drew." I catch Nadine look up from her spot on the couch in the living room. She's wearing her usual set en semble of a fitted tee, jeans, and running shoes. She quickly goes back to reading e-mails on her BlackBerry.

  There's a long silence. "What about him?" Austin asks finally.

  "I wasn't completely upfront about why he was acting so weird at the Xbox party," I explain nervously. "The truth is...Drew and I went out a few times." I wince, waiting for his reaction. "It was before I even met you," I babble, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence. "I just didn't know how to tell you that I was spending the summer working with my moronic ex."

  Austin groans. "So now instead of thinking of you all day, I'm going to be thinking about what you're doing with Drew."

  "I can't stand the guy," I insist. "You have nothing to worry about."

  "I wish you would have told me," Austin says. He sounds annoyed, but not angry "It's not like you don't know all about my ex."